Friends! Who Needs Them? (Pt. 1)

This is probably one of my most difficult blogs to write since it touches on so many areas that have left scars on my heart. Without going into great detail, several years ago, I went through one of the hardest times of my life. Along with many material things that were lost, the most important thing I lost was the relationship of close friends due to circumstances beyond my control. I am grateful that over time, most of those friendships have been restored, but it hasn’t been without heartache in the process.

During the trials that Jeremy and I faced, there were a few people, namely the Gamble’s and the Miyake’s, that never left our side and helped put our pieces back together. Proverbs 18:24 states that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother, and they are it! We would go to battle for either one of them and they for us. And though a couple of them may be miles apart (or in Hawaii), I know they are only a phone call away. Others are only a few blocks away which I find comforting. But I have also used this as a crutch and an excuse not to seek out “new” friends. I mean, I’ve got Jeremy and a few good ones, so what do I need new ones for? The truth is that each person brings something different to the table, and sometimes we don’t know what we’re missing until we find it.

The devastation that occurred took years to repair, and while getting there was not easy, it is opening the door to seek out new friendships that I find even harder. Over the years, I began to develop a lack of trust, not in God, but people. I decided that friendships were too much work and too much hurt. I allowed “busyness” to be my excuse when others wanted to hang out and made sure that everyone was kept at arm’s length. In return, I ended up with a whole lot of acquaintances and not many true friends. There is absolutely a difference, but that is a separate blog all together!

Finally, last year I decided to deal with that last unresolved issue…thanks to Pastor Debbie’s unrelenting prodding. And what was her solution you ask? A room full of women. Just the thought of it sent chills down my spine. Nonetheless, out of obedience, I went to the Women’s retreat and had an amazing time despite the insane anxiety beforehand. I met (and observed) some wonderful “friends” who caused me to see the NEED, but I still wasn’t completely to the WANT phase yet…the phase that required my TIME. Can you guess what my New Year’s resolution was? Yep, not kidding. I needed to figure out how to want a friend, how to be a friend and why I needed them in the first place. I was gonna need some guidance though. So, what did I do?

You’ll have to check out Pt. 2 to see what I found out. Craziness!